blogging twice on a day... bullsh*t
Official post for today


juz felt like writting......... dunno wad i want to write about yet.... hate posts that juz dun go anywhere waste ppl's time reading too. but i juz have to write whenever i'm down.. its become a habit, bear wif me.

"journey to feel again"
haha sounds good.... hmmm self declares it the theme for 2006,
lookin back, tis self declared 2 year break from anything that may potentially harm my heart so as to concentrate on my A's, i've become kinda out of sync in tis department and will be working on it........ have a pre-prepared phrase: sorrie if i'm abit emotionally retarded.

good/bad things come in pairs:
2 years ago i left sji, where i spent 4 yrs of my life metamorphorsizing. secondary school was such a fumbling ground for me, bz fantoming how this world work as i grow and cont to do so now with few stops inbetween towards ???... "who will i grow up to become? dun tink i grew up much..... :( "

2 important friends.... lost one of them. jc started in march for me cos i didnt make it into jc for the 1st 3 mths, hurriedly thrusted into MUGGINGLAND. i was caught in the midst of a serious fight wif the Daniel who i lost..... really depressed cos i invested so much time into that hoping that i can gain a invaluable friendship.. but time doesnt buy anything... hmmm juz didnt click exactly into place i guess. flashes of the enzyme substrate lock and key image from the sec4 bio text crosses me eyes

Note to myself: dun expect too much from the current "project" wif raine

world is not perfect; nv has been nv will be. since when did i become so jaded...? haha.. such an awkawardly placed phrase ...

brown world
beginning of jc i badly wanted to fence up and guess it worked to a certain degree... haha... worked fantasticalli.. (who am i bluffing it was only because i was bz adjusting...) decided to tok to daniel again hoping that after 3 mths of silence maybe things will revert back to normal......... Pathetic.

But when i returned things changed, he got wound up in a relationship, things kinda went downhill from there... plus the fact that we were studying in diff schools wif totalli diff curriculums mi a jc-ian and the other POLY... mi a science student and he a graphic design artist.... we talked less and the crowd we hanged out wif was so different... view perspectives also change.. WE CHANGED.. i thought we continue to evolve into ever greater friends... naive i tell u, absence only makes the heart fonder but absence changes you. ivan came and left

1 door closes and another opens.......... raine dun disappoint me, pls DUN!

the future
exams are over and no longer plague my life. at least not for the nex 2 years... haha 2 years in the army, want to grow from it and when i look back i wanna be wiser.
i'm so excited cos i'm experiencing the long and treacherous process of becoming a person........... a person who i'd admire?
shouts: "of course!"


lets out a sigh of relieve.... finished tis entry and now i noe why i blog, i blog to find truth... still so much i nid to blog about... so much to tidy up in my messy heart and mind

why i have tis urge to blog again? cos i have difficulty expressing my thoughts and a lack thereof of ppl to share them wif.