picked up tennis a few weeks back and its realli addictive, i feel like a puddle everytime the yellow ball comes at me.. juz wanna return it to the other side of the court! no matter wad even if the ball goes out.. which usualli results in my friend having to pick up the balls.. maybe that's the subconscious reason for me acting so .... laughs....
been feeling down, in fact lost any real motivation to blog bout my life... but since reading some realli prolific bloggers i found the place of bloggin in my heart again,
tell you the truth i was played a few mths back, i got intro-ed to tis guy by my -so called closest friend at that time; now i wonder if his still worth keeping anot, well that's realli worth another whole frinking post,
we met online.. and being the navie person tt i was cos i was nv really in a relationship b4 i thought hey maybe tis is smth special to both me and him, so we started to study at the library daily where he worked for a mth... realli got dirty wif him and hot and stuff but he went to the army and i nv heard from him again until 2 weeks ago when a common aquintance of ours got us online again, wadever lar......... tink his quite happi cos he has a crush/inflatuation/wadEVER!
i dun realli care. (dammit i actualli do) but i'm over it... noe i sound realli weird, will make a effort to pen out my feelings, its like i noe the doors are closed regarding tis and the memories are forever frozen/scorched into my neurons probably wun be forgetting it soon since it was my 1st time... why was i so gulliable rite? hee hee.. all the veterans to the game muz be smiling to themselves now
now his in lurv again and now i'm wallowing in my own self pity.. sucks rite? so wad shd i do? juz move on, tat's usualli easier said than done......... after the A's its like a whole part of me juz died, all the motivation and self pep talks i'll give myself juz to psycho myself into studying (incidently it works too... haha...) its GONE... a goal in my life was completed and now am kinda LOST, the reason we stopped talkin was also partly due to my side too, cos i was concentrating on my studies.. god smite me if i got the whole concept of life wrong cos i tink getting to the U's IS THE MOST IMPORTANT TASK...
tskkk.... shd i get back into the lurv game again and try my luck at the russian roulette? or shd i find something else to do...
tried the 2nd option, picked up tennis and japanese but juz cant make me realli bz enuf to get a feeling of achievement i get from studying full time... in truth i nid to distract myself from all the other things tat have gone wrong in my life...
haha... but i realli got to thank him though, thru him i met a special someone though she's a girl, i tink i found a friend who's worth a million pounds in gold, truly unique and holds a special place in my heart. haha life/fate whatever you call it always throws some curveballs at you, and usualli get things u were totalli unexpecting of while tryin to pursue for another. its realli amuzing she's realli truthful, real and wise haha though 2 yrs younger. want to keep her to me all my life and she also gave me hope again that out there there are realli nice ppl around...
when i found out he was dating someone else again, the world came crushin down on me... its like a piece of canvas art and the colours all came melting out leaving behind a unearthly green and a distorted picture, in other words the world become dirty and cruel and BAD... but upon closer inspection wif her help i see glimpses of hope that the facade that hid the ugliness of the world was achievable. and that i have juz fallen and am in the process of regrouping myself and becoming someone better
chao! hee hee thx ****** u gave me the strength to blog again and be cynically truthful to my situation